۝ ʂʇɴɐɥɗəɭə ɟo ʞɐəɗ

I know, I know: it probably never happen. But that’s not going to stop me from doing my happy dance this very moment. And I’m at work, to boot.

“According to the official FBI database, only 6% of terrorist attacks on U.S. soil from 1980 to 2005 can be attributed to Muslims. This compared to 7% for Jews and 42% for Latinos. No, not all terrorists are Muslims.”

Normally huge douchebags like Pat Robertson (who make actually be the Dajjal, although I’m still not 100% on that) just piss me off. But I realize it’s also important to take some time out to laugh at them. In that spirit, I present Time Mag’s Top Ten Pat Roberston Gaffes.

Edit: It should be noted that, like Patty Boy, I also believe that Ariel Sharon did, in fact, “ask for it,” albeit not for even remotely the same reasons as arch-Zionist Robertson. I think he “asked for it” because he was a psychopathic war criminal, whereas Robertson felt he was not enough of a psychopathic war criminal.

Interesting—though by no means novel—blog post over at the Times. The comment section is, however, the more fascinating bit of content.

Oh, and the title question is not purely rhetorical, as I suspect the answer from most of the amoral, antisocial “netizens” will be: “Fuck no, asshole. You retarded or somethin’?” That’s netiquette for you.

New York continues to find new and innovative ways to say “Fuck you, buddy” to its homeless population. Earlier this year it was paying travel expenses to ship them anywhere but here. Now it’s shredding—literally—tons of clothing that could go to good will.

Thanks, Mike.

Two more churches and a Catholic convent school in Malaysia have been targeted by arsonists, amid a row over the use of the word “Allah” by non-Muslims.

Holy shit, really? Stop it, you retards! Seriously, just stop it. Oh, and you know what? You’re not Muslim anymore. That’s right: you’re out of the club. We don’t allow dual membership with the Douchebag Club, and it’s clear which one you’ve chosen.

What’s in a word? In this case, sadly, the word is “Allah” and the answer is petrol. A word to the bombers: Maybe you should actually try cracking open the Quran once in a while and seeing what God has to say about the matter of using the name “Allah,” let alone firebombing churches:

“Surely those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the Christians, and the Sabians, whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day and does good, they shall have their reward from their Lord, and there is no fear for them, nor shall they grieve.” (2:62, Shakir Translation)

Enjoy Jahannam, you bunch of functionally illiterate retards. Oh, and thanks for helping al Qaeda and the Taliban to set Islam’s image for Christians back to barely pre-Crusade levels.

Seriously, what a bunch of dicks.

waianaesfinest:

caraobrien:

From the NY Times, excerpt:

TORONTO — At least five protesters arrested in Iran last week during anti-government demonstrations will be tried on charges of warring against God, which carries the death sentence if they are found guilty, Iran’s judiciary said Thursday.

Those who falsely invoke God in their judgment themselves war upon God.

Indeed. To wit: “And who is more unjust than he who forges a lie against Allah? These shall be brought before their Lord, and the witnesses shall say: These are they who lied against their Lord. Now surely the curse of Allah is on the unjust.” (11:18, Shakir Translation)

Come on now, this is just getting ridiculous.

Pop quiz:

You’re a steward(ess) on an airplane and some old crotchety guy gets disruptive by being, well, old and crotchety. You:

a. Accept that he’s just a grumpy middle aged guy and don’t bother engaging with him.

b. “Accidentally” spill some hot coffee on his lap when you come down the aisle with the beverage cart.

c. Have the US Air Force scramble two F-15s to escort the jetliner back to its point of origin. Because, you know, that makes so much sense.

Okay, pencils down. Which is it?

In related news, the FBI confirms that it will not be subjecting all residents of Oregon to additional security screening. Just Pakistanis. And Arabs. And… well, as the FBI would put it: “towelheads, sand niggers and camel jockeys.”

Courtesy of Loonwatch. Here’s yet another ginormous mongoloid douchebag islamophobe; this one (and writing on a Canadian site, no less) suggests bombing Mecca. I was going to make a pun about Bob having had one too many “beers,” but thought the better of it. You should all be very, very proud of me.

Note: Someone should tell him Yazid (la) already tried that.

“Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab was by all accounts a decent, virtuous teenager who wanted to do good but, lost and alone in London, he fell into a malign embrace.”

Writing in the Sunday Telegraph, Ruth Dudley Edwards (billed as an “Islamic specialist”) trots out the familiar right-wing clichés about Abdulmutallab being converted to extremism/terrorism during his three years as a student at University College London.

via Islamophobia Watch

“While these guys and gals ask each other why women want it or don’t want it, why men crave it or willingly abstain, I ask myself why these kids don’t just get married so that they can get it on.”

The Prophet has stated, “The greatest sin amongst all sins in the eyes of God is of a person, who marries a woman and divorces her once his needs have been fulfilled and also usurps her dowry in the process…” (Al-Hakim and Al-Bayhaqi Ibn Umar). In the last couple of decades, the American Muslim community has unfortunately witnessed a growing trend in which respectable, well-known Muslim men marry and then divorce Muslim women in a secret, serial manner.

[For my rantier rant, visit my other project] I always thought people who made all the slippery slope arguments about government intrusion into personal affairs were being a bit overly alarmist when it came to smoking bans in workplaces. Then it occurred in bars, which just isn’t right. “Still,” I thought, “it’s not like they can ban it outdoors, so we’re still safe on that front.” And now I’m beginning to reevaluate my entire position, as it appears the alarmists were right: NYC is now looking to ban smoking in all public parks and beaches.

That’s right: NYC can’t manage to take care of things like its rapidly growing homeless population, slum-lordism, HIV/AIDS, rampant graft and corruption, skyrocketing unemployment or racist police brutality, but it does have time to work on a smoking ban in parks and beaches.

I’m thinking the title of “greatest city in the world” might need to be changed to something like “the city that used to be pretty decent.” Or, “the city where you can still smoke in your apartment—for now.”

Seriously, though, WTF?

“In the 40th year of Hijri, in the early hours of the morning of 19th Ramadan, Imam Ali (AS) was struck with a poisoned sword by the Kharijite Ibn Muljim (may the curse of Allah be upon him) while leading prayers in the Masjid of Kufa. …”